A Quick "To Do" List

Since I have had so much time to think lately, I have pondered the questions around relationships. Whether you be male or female you are given a capacity for love and being loved. Lots of times I have found the biggest problems on this subject comes out of our own mouths and sometimes actions. We men especially need some help in this area. So I have comprised a do and do not list for those that may be challenged in this area. Thanks to my wife, Nita, who contributed to this post. This list is now in its complete form. :)

Do: Tell your lady that you enjoy her cooking and that you always look forward to what she prepares.

Don't: Tell your lady that the fork tasted better than the meal and not to fix that again. (Been there and done that. Big mistake!!)

Do: Compliment them on how they look when you are going out somewhere for dinner or out on the town.

Don't: ask...."Are you wearing that again?!! We need to get you some clothes!"

You also need to strike the word "fat" from your vocabulary. No words like "hefty", "big boned" or the term "very healthy." Try not to use these words at all. Everyone's life will be much better.

Do: Get creative and maybe come up with a little poem or note to be romantic now and then.

Don't: Give them this poem:

A peach is a peach
and a plum is a plum
but what is a kiss
without a tongue.

This will produce the best or worst results. Just depends on timing and mood. Trust me. :)

Do: Offer to take out the trash without being told to.

Don't: Ask her to take out the trash while you have a tv remote in your hand.

Do: Try to be helpful in the household chores paying attention to how she wants things done.

Don't: Tell her that you are out of shirts and she is getting behind on the job!

Little side note here. I believe when I got married some of my brain fell out between the altar and the car. I used to be able to find everything in my wardrobe. Now there are days when I can't find my clothes without yelling "Honey! Have you seen my socks?" The only way around this is to help with some of the domestic chores and try to put them away yourself. Remind yourself that you became brain damaged between the altar and the car. I speak as a bare foot man writing this.

Do: Notice the things she looks at in the stores. Especially jewelry, favorite scents and that sort of thing. Sneak away, get it gift wrapped and surprise her with it. Paying special attention to birthdays and anniversaries.

Don't: Mention how much an item cost or how much trouble it was to get. Nothing like....."I could have bought the entire mine for that!!" or "I thought of you when I saw that cheap thing." Never ever use the words "cheap" or "Pawn Shop" in the conversation. :)

Do: Realize that little things mean a lot. It doesn't cost a lot of money to notice what colors she wears most often or to write her a little love note and stick it somewhere she's bound to find it. A thank you note stuck under the dirty socks and underwear on the floor will be something she never forgets.

Don't: Mess it up by getting too wordy. That just seems fake. Keep it simple and sweet.

Do: Really pay attention when she talks to you. If you listen and show her by your actions that you did, she will love you for it.

Don't: Assume you know everything she would have told you if you really didn't listen. It will bite you in the end if you do.

Trust me guys!! I am trying to help you here! You may ask have I done anything on the "don't" list? Yes I have. Still do from time to time but I am learning as I go. In the end, it is all worth it. There is no substitute for having that special someone in your life and it is as much up to you as it is her to be aware of the little things. Treat all people kindly but treat the lady in your life special. :) You will benefit the most. I am sure there are other things that could be added here. Please feel free to comment and give any suggestions you may have!  Now where is that remote?