Why so sad?

At the age of 17, the world looks different to a person. You are invincible, immortal, and ready to grab what life has to offer. This was the way that I was 32 years ago. I had a part time job, a car, and all of the time in the world. My biggest problem was if I had a date and if I didn't, would she say yes to going out with me? In August of 1978, my father died. My mother was chronically ill and my life was about to change in ways that I had never dreamed. The shock of all of these changes did not really seem to hit me at first. I still had a job, still went on dates, still had my car. However, something was different with me and I couldn't put my finger on it. I had this melancholy spirit about me all of the time. No matter what I did, I just couldn't shake it. Lots of mistakes were made by me in the next year that now I am really ashamed of. I won't mention those just right now. Those decisions are still too painful to share. Let's just say I got mixed up with a bad crowd and did stupid stuff. One day, in 1979, I just flipped out. Maybe it was all of the grief that I had felt, maybe it was all the things I was putting into my body. I don't know. In my own mind, I was sure I was going crazy. This kind of thing just can't happen to me! So I thought. When those close to me would ask "what is the matter?" I didn't have an answer for them. Now I do. This was my introduction to depression.

Depression is not "just the blues." It is not just "feeling down." What it is, is a medical condition caused in my case by a chemical imbalance in conjunction with a series of bad decisions. It isn't just sorrow. It is painful sorrow. Chances are that you know someone or know of someone that has suffered from depression. It is a common condition. Most people going through it feel that they are losing their mind. They are not. In fact, it takes a fairly good mind for someone to suffer from this. That has been my experience. The danger of depression is the fact that it can lead to thoughts of suicide. I was very fortunate to never be tempted by these thoughts. It is important, for this reason, to seek medical help. There are a lot of very good medications for someone afflicted by this. They will usually benefit from counseling in conjunction with the right medications. The friendship of someone is very important at this time. Maybe the most important thing of all. They need a friend to be there for them and a friend to come back to when they get better. They do get better. They need to hear this from someone they care about. In all but extreme cases, hospitalization is not required. It never was for me.

Like I said, I never had thoughts of suicide. The first time, I didn't go to the doctor. I never took any medication. I thought they would have me committed or something. I didn't even know what the condition I had was called. It took me almost a year to recover with no medication or no friends to lean on. Well, I did have some friends. By mail mostly. They were what kept me going. I was really ashamed to tell them what was going on, but couldn't have gotten through it without them. I bet my letters were really "off the wall" at that time. I learned about the disease when I suffered a second bout about two years later. I had to do something to stop the cycle. I don't take medication for it anymore. Some unwanted side effects were more to deal with than I could bear. I have went through this thing 5 different times in my life. It has been a recurrent thing for me. I have several ways that I deal with it now other than medication. First, I know that the way that I feel at those times is not the reality. So I make decisions based on what I know rather than what I think. Second, I recognize the condition of depression. It has a name and I know it well. Third, my family is sent from heaven to me. I am sure of it. They are what makes me want to come back. Fourth, and the most important, is my faith in God. I know that He is looking out for me during this time. Christians can get depressed. Let's make no mistake about that. Christ gives us weapons in this fight that unbelievers just don't have. Prayer, meditation, His Word, His Spirit. I have found myself in the position of a friend to someone that is depressed several times in my life. He has been able to use me to help others like myself.

I would love to tell all of you that I have this problem whipped. That would be a lie. For me, it tends to come back like a dark storm cloud on a hot summer day. All of us have our cross to bear. I don't enjoy depression, but it has added character and integrity to my being. The gaps between depressions do get broader. They have in my case. The Lord has brought me through them all just like in the song: "Till the Storm Passes By."

In conclusion, depressed individuals need medical treatment. They need to be told they are worthwhile and cared for. They need encouragement and support. They need a friend. Perhaps you could be that friend.

Postscript:

This post means well, but is incomplete. If you or someone that you love is depressed or having thoughts of suicide, get help! I personally went to see my family doctor. He was very understanding and gave me some medicine to "take the edge off", if you will. He also referred me to a good psychologist for counseling. While I focus on the friend part, it is important that you don't do as I did the first time and do it yourself. I wish you well.